Vote: March Badness Elite 8

These are all terrible. Like multiplying zeros. Close your eyes, throw a dart and see where it lands.

This is a close matchup with Bon Jovi and the Eagles Bon Jovi 52% and Eagles 48%

I like the Shaggs album the most out of all of the remaining albums, so I voted for Boston. Which is good – I didn’t want to listen to that Boston album again.

My listen to the Nickelback album:
1 Follow You Home – awful…everything about it. The drums. Yuck.
2 Fight For All the Wrong Reasons – I am getting flashbacks to having to watch Passion of the Christ – everything inside me is fighting what I’m experiencing. Why are you doing this to me?
3 Photograph – it’s conceivable that this song in the hands of a different band, a different sound, a different arrangement could be decent. I hate this guy’s voice.
4 Animals – oh, God. This is abhorrent. Thankfully, I’m only listening to 30 seconds to 1 minute for most of these songs
5 Savin Me – this band might be better with a different singer. I mean, start with a new singer and see where it goes from there. Maybe replace everything 1 plank at a time and we can have a Ship of Theseus debate like Vision had with White Vision in the finale of Wandavision
6 Far Away – I’ll give this song some points – maybe Stanley nickels or Schrute bucks – for reminding me of Cyndee Lauper’s “Time After Time” song somewhere in the verses
7 Next Contestant – drums and voice – terrible
8 Side of a Bullett – this is why I don’t listen to European death metal where they’re screaming at you. That voice should be…illegal. I am not comparing the two – I am sure death metal has more value
9 If Everyone Cared – I like the sentiment of the song/video. None of the actual sound of the song, though.
10Someone That You’re With – nope
11 Rockstar – the video is making me nauseous. as is the song. Gene Simmons, man.
Rating: Approximately 0 or 1/2 star for…making me think that in the hands of other bands, ANY song could sound better. Let’s give Limp Bizkit a listen. If I enjoy any of the songs there, I will immediately stop and push this album into the next round:
Limp Bizkit:
1 Re Entry – I think I’m pushing Nickelback into the next round. At least the vocals weren’t bad. That was too quick
2 Eat You Alive – this is terrible. Being obnoxious isn’t a virtue. The video is horrible.
3 Gimme The Mic – I’m not listening to this crap. I’m at work. This is tax season.
4 Underneath The Gun – I like the sound of the guitar(s) and the vocals aren’t terrible. Yes, definitely pushing Nickelback into the next round.
5 Down Another Day – one thing I’ll give Fred Durst – the songs vary. There are dynamics. I don’t like all the variance, but there are aspects of these songs to like.
6) Almost Over – I’d just say that this album actually sounds good by every measure compared to that Nickelback album. I’m going to end this sound. There’s no reason to go any further. I have no interest in listening to Limp Bizkit anymore.

Eagles: I listened to a handful of songs during the last round. Not going to listen to those. I Dreamed There Was No War is a good song. Somebody is pretty awful. I think the Bon Jovi/Eagles battle comes down to values. Is the Eagles album full of turds? Yes. Just as Aaron Rodgers said in the Baby Wawa episode, it’s just not good…it’s just not good. You compare a song like “Last Good Time In Town” to another long song the Eagles did in the 70’s – The Last Resort – and you see how far they’ve fallen. So, their use of time, efficiency, knowledge of their instruments, craftsmanship – they really let you down. These songs are just not good and there’s a lot of them. They are wallpaper. They are filling up space. But I wouldn’t call them an abomination to humanity like, say, the Nickelback album (or Ummagumma, for that matter). I mean, that album was torture, and I listened to about 15-20 minutes of it. “I Love To Watch A Woman Dance” is pretty good. Comparatively, this album is pleasant. Compared to the Beach Boys album, this album is better.
Bon Jovi: Story of Love is alright. Those first 4 songs were pretty bad when I listened to them last time. Let It Rain: you can’t steal a classic song title, a sequence from Born To Run…wait, what is that drum sound? You can’t steal a line from a CCR song about stopping the rain.
I just have a headache, so I’m going to stop the Bon Jovi album now and push that one to the next round. I am not an Eagles apologist. I will never listen to that Eagles album again. I’m just pushing Bon Jovi into the next round.

All these remaining albums are not good for different reasons, but a few are just awful by any standard. My bracket picks are The Shaggs/Limp Bizkit/Feldman/Bon Jovi.

Does that mean I like the Boston/Nickelback/Phair/Eagles albums?
No, it doesn’t; it means I literally can’t bear to listen to my “winners.”

For me, Boston is just a meh album by a classic band. By comparison, The Shaggs is indescribable bad from the first note. How someone green light Philosophy of the World is beyond me.

One of our two close matchups is Limp Bizkit versus Nickelback. Guess this just comes down to who you hate the worst. For me, Nickelback is an overproduced and (back in the day) overplayed rock band, but I can casually listen to this album without wanting to cut my own wrists to make it stop. On the other hand, Limp Bizkit is what they play in Hell to torture people for their sins.

God, this Liz Phair album sucks. Yeah, the first two songs set the suck meter high; the rest of the album never really deviates much from that high level; and when I finished listening I knew there was no way Feldman could be worse. I was wrong: his album was unlistenable where Liz’s just sucked. Corey for the win!!!

The BIG matchup of the week is Bon Jovi versus The Eagles. How does one compare crap with garbage? For me, one was preachy crap where the other was fairly pedestrian garbage which could just be easily tuned out. Bon Jovi easily wins here, as Jon forgot to actually produce good music to go with his anthemic proselytizing.

Can’t wait to see the results of the vote and how the guys themselves pick!

I feel strangely proud that no British act is still left in the contest!

Having boldly skimmed through all of these albums on Youtube, I have actually voted the same way as Wendell. I did find the Nickelback/Limp Bizkit and Bon Jovi/Eagles match-ups very tight though. I found the Boston album the least bad of these 8 for me. There was one song on the LIz Phair album that was fairly decent but most of the rest of it was a horrid mess.

#1 matchup: incompetent teenage girl group forced to plod through a set of songs when in their own words “we weren’t ready” is still a more enjoyable listen than rock superstars making really uninspired choices.

#2 matchup: as bad as every Nickelback album I’ve ever heard is, still they don’t make me angry like that Limp album. that one imo takes the Bizkit.

#3 matchup: TOUGH ONE! Feldman’s work was like a car crash. I couldn’t look away. the album is almost entertaining in its sheer badness, but then its length wore me down, and I started to lose the will to live. the first track on Funstyle had me in a despair that never let up.

#4 matchup: full confession—I don’t even like the best of either Bon Jovi or the Eagles. I felt like I should disqualify myself from this one, but then I put myself through both records and while the Eagles was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, JBJ—hide your shame!

I am finding it very difficult to vote in this, these are all so bad.